Life's experiences with people I called friends


I have been on this earth for over 50 years. Friends come and go...some left this world, some left my life, some I am still journeying with and some still with me through thick and thin.

 When I have bad experiences with a few of them, I asked God why couldn't He give me the ones who are perfectly good. Now after pondering myself with this question umpteen times, He gave me an answer that my life experiences are all via friends may they be nice, bad or just passing-by friends. I agree that I have had got lots of happy and sad times with them. I only have to be discreet and to be able to discern.

 Some friends made use of us for their benefits then forget about us. Some true friends travel with us and supported us in our venture of life's difficult journey.

I used to get very upset with those who used me as an instrument to get what they favour. For example, they would ask me to ask a certain sensitive issue to another close friend. They would give bad feed backs about that person. They even suggested that I plan for some gathering but I was the one being left out at the end of the day. Funny was that you will find them having a good time with the person they had talked bad about behind his back. These built up my life and make me a stronger and wiser person. I learn how to forgive and be more vigilant.

Then there's some who will console us in bad times. They would be very concerned. I feel so blessed with such as they never push me off the edge. They are always there when I need them. I am thankful that I am provided such though very few.

I concluded that to have quality in friendship is better then to have quantity.

Aunties, uncles???? Be careful with your designations...

Malaysians can be blinded when it comes to designation. Through experiences which I dare say can be embarrassing to the person the designation is shot towards. Example, I was called 'auntie' by people who are very much older, little older, a little younger or of same age. Shouldn't we just asked, " Excuse me, may I know your name please?" And from there just acknowledge the person using her/his name or surname. That simple. If you do not know her/him just acknowledge her as "Madam" or him as "Sir" or "Mr."

It would be wonderful for sales personnels not to call future customers as "aunties" or "uncles" for you are never related. I noticed that we never call foreigners as "aunties" and "uncles"....Why, may I ask? Well, shouldn't we practice doing this to locals? I taught my son to acknowledge the hotel guests where he is working as "Sir", "Madam" or if he knows them, by their surnames. I assure you many would appreciate that. The graph of your sales may even shoot upwards.

A friend of mine had her youngest boy during her late 40s. While we were browsing around a supermarket one fine day, a sales person approached her. She was holding on to her 5 year old son's hand. To my amusement, this guy went, "Auntie, how about buying this educational toy for your grandson?" with a smooth smile on his face. The smile went off when he got a rude reply. It was "Look I am not his grandmother. I am his mother. Do I look that old? I did want to look at your products but because of your acknowledgment, I decided not to purchase any item from you. Please do be careful next time". She walked of unhappily.


I know of a man who is near 70 but still very active. Someone called him "uncle" and he just turned round and told that person, "Don't call me "uncle" as I am NOT your uncle. Call me "Sir" or "Mr". He looked very displeasured from his facial expression and the tone of his voice.

I know to many it is a normal thing. But believe me, I am sure most people preferred not to be called "aunties" and "uncles" unless related. Some Chinese would follow their kids calling neighbours as such. Not very amusing though. We should be addressing each other by name since we are neighbours.

I do not call people such unless they call me the same. There was one day at the market, this lady who is a fishmonger called me 'auntie". "Sweet", I said in my head. My next step was to call her the same back. One point for me as I can see from her face that she wasn't very glad. Hahaha anyway, she looks older so I was just being 'polite' like her. My way of getting back.....sarcastically well done.

True Friendship

Hi there dear all,

I decided to poke my pretty face out again. I know it had been a real loooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg time since I blogged. My excuse this time is not shear laziness but truthfully speaking I did not have a clue of what I am going to write about. My mind was just a big blank or should I say I was blackout. Hahahaha a chatty person like me to be labeled as 'blackout' is rather hilarious I know.

So today I am going to write about true friendships. I did write about online friendship earlier on. Well, go pages back to find it. Don't ask me for assistance as I am not sure about where it was. Moreover this is one good way of getting my new friends to read my other topics. Tricky me????? LOL.....

Let me get back into line, I have many friends around me...online and here in Penang, Perlis, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Seremban. Online friends goes as far as Switzerland,Netherlands, Australia, India, Croatia, South Africa and Canada. I enjoyed making friends of various races and nationality. My friends included both genders. I don't just choose males but females as well. I know that most males would prefer to have only female contacts and vice versa. But I am different....anyone can be my friend even gays. I do not look down on people because of their colours. They can be black, blue, green, red , orange, white, yellow or brown to name a few of the colours. So you can see that I am colour blind and am not a racist.

I value all my friends and I love them all. My love is unconditional. No, I am not into relationship kind of thing. Just mutual..I hate stress. And I dare tell you that there are times friends can get on my nerves. Some thought that they may get away with lies. True friendship is a matter of trust, not stabbing her/him from behind and still think that she/he is stupid enough not to be able to find out. There are times things just revealed itself without even the other party taking the effort to dig out. I can tell you that this hurts a lot when truth sneaks out.

As for me, I go online chatting with friends to kill time and also with hopeful hopes that I will find some whom I can call true friends and make them my friends in life......Hoping to meet up one day. Doesn't mean that when one goes online, it is all about sex. Makes us freaky, right? Doesn't mean that if I on my webcam, I have to show my nakedness. No, I am not a pervert nor am I a nymphomaniac. When I meet my friends whom I found online, it doesn't mean that we are having sexual relationships. And I did meet up with a few whom I enjoyed talking to and having meals with. This platonic kind of friendship will last longer than just sexual.

Well, I am open-minded of course but I believe that sexual motivated kind of friendship will not last long. What is on the other person's mind in reality? We never know as it is always praises that we heard. For all we know that other mind may be full of criticism and mind u the mind can be sarcastic too. The irony is we will never find out.

Next come controlling...I have some friends who loves to control. For example, when traveling..she had to be the one to tell us where to stay, where to eat, where to go, what to buy and what to eat. Wow, this is very pushy. You know I rather that we discuss and make decision collectively. I have a friend who planned to come here soon. Being a foreigner, he asked me to plan his vacation for him. Alright, plan..that is good. But I have to consider his likes and dislikes. I can't just pull him along and say, "Hey, you stay here" without even knowing if he fancies such a place. Or "Hey, you got to try this curry" and not knowing that he is allergic to it. Friendship is about consideration.

Then again friendship is not selfish.....This is a good one. I love sharing all my friends without fear of my friends being snatched off by another. Never have I labeled them as MY or MINE. After all they don't belong to me nor would I like to be tied down by them. We have to have freedom to mingle around without tying up our friendship. But definitely I would say MY HUSBAND as we are tied down in matrimony. If those of you who had been chatting online with me, you will notice that I never like to sound possessive.

Laurent, a French friend who is working in Switzerland, and I will be celebrating our 1 year of online friendship in October. Gosh, I am saying this in pride. He had been very consoling during my downs. And believe it or not we don't lie to each other. He hates lies and so do I. Times I may be a bit of a teaser. Yes, I joke a lot and that spiced things out. I am always teasing him. We are frequently chatting. Not an on off thing. So that is why I am proud that we are friends up until now.

Tammy is my shopping companion. We met a few months ago. Staying just behind where I am staying makes us close. We talk at the back door. And we go online everyday to chat making others think we are very far apart.

Colin whom I just got to know is fun to chat with. He is full of vitality and he made me laugh a lot. Now I am his dog (bitch would be proper). He called me Rover. Guess he did not realize that I am a female. LOL

Rob Vis is another precious online friend who had captured my friendship. He would let me see him on cam even though I do not have a webcam. That is trust.

Joe Lim, Eddie Wong, William, Constance, Kimmy, JLE, Kenrick, Richard, Jenny, Lisa, Mike, motoleng, etc etc to name a few...We started out as group chatters. Now we good friends.

So to summarize true friendship....truthful, sharing, no pressure, freedom all the time, trust and no back biting.

Cheerio pals!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just about people

Life is a long long route to meeting people...and I mean lots and lots of people. I have come across friendly, helpful, playful ones (I am one of this category), calculative ones and etc. etc. Truthfully the ones that turn me off are the calculative type. I wound definitely give them thumbs down and a BIG BOOOOOOOO. There are some who would even collect 10sen from us. That is how generous such a person can be. And such generosity arises even before a meeting is schedule... For example, a meeting was planned, as for me, I would not mind paying for the bill because friendship to me is not about money. But some would discuss about how to split the bill before proceeding with the plan. Hmmm, no wonder some complained that they are loners. Heck, I think they deserve it. Such a character will go no where near friendship. One friend I happen to know would ask us to take turn paying. Well, as cunning as he was, he would order all the goodies he fancied when another person was paying (e.g. brandy, cigarettes, satay, steamed whole chicken). But when he was paying, he would carefully scanned the orders. The disgusting thing was that he would stop orders if the food or drinks were expensive. What a knuckle head he was. This very person too asked his ex-girlfriend to get tickets for the shows so that he can saved. What a miser. Life must have been miserable for him.
Did I mention 'HE'? Yet I do come to know a few guys who would be smiling whenever I offered to treat them. Can I make my comment??? I was only being sarcastic. What kind of a man is this????? Trying to take the most out of friendship. I am a reasonable lady but there are limits. Well, any lady would be pissed off by such people.
Talking about calculative, I have gone on a vacation with one who would make collections there and then at the eateries. Gosh, can't she do that when we got back to the hotel??? As if we would not pay her the moment we finished the food. Tsk, tsk....
Some do take our friendship for granted and they can be too demanding. They would ask for favours. Well, not that I disapproved but there should be a limit. Come to a certain level where such so called friends would give us a scare. Such people comes with a package of unreasonable demands.
But thank God, I have more pleasant friends than the unpleasant. What a blessing!! My good friends are too many to mention but I am sure that they know who they are. Love all of you dearly....muahhhhhh